This Thursday, we had missionary coordination. One elder in our ward began to speak about an investigator that they have progressing toward baptism. She had told them, that she had really enjoyed going to church with them that Sunday and that, when Sister Thomas was speaking, she had seen an aura of light surrounding her.Well, later that day, not a single person, not even my companion said anything about the talk... so I figured it was just average... again that I was just an average missionary. And that I would never truly be able to realize the power spoken of by Elder Holland.1. I showed up to Sacrament meeting and one of the speakers had not shown up. The bishop asked me to fill the time. I heartily agreed. As I sat there at the piano, taking the sacrament, I began to think about what I would speak on. What my ward really, truly needs to hear. What Jesus would speak on if He walked into the chapel in that moment. And I thought about lesson one that we teach almost every single day. About the restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ. As that thought entered my mind, I thought about the other 7 missionaries and all of the returned missionaries in the audience. I thought they might laugh, they might tune out my talk. But no, it was very clear that this was the topic that the ward needed to hear. I thought about the talk from Elder Holland that I did not get to see, but which Hermana Essig passed us her notes. He had taught that the restoration should be taught with such power that we leave the knees of our investigators shaking, that they need to sit down because they are left to weak to stand, that if there is no powerful lesson one, there will NEVER be a lesson two, but that we must be qualified to give such a lesson. And so, I began to pray hard that the Lord would qualify me to give this talk and truly get to the hearts of the members, investigators, less actives, etc. that were in the audience. I stood up, and began to speak. I testified with all of the energy of my heart, and I taught the restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ right there from the pulpit. There was a beautiful silence that is rarely found in this young ward full of screaming children.Then, two miracles happened.We could easily say that Wednesday (She is talking about Christmas Day when we Skyped with her) was one of the best days of my whole entire life. It was awesome. You say that you saw some sort of light in me... HA! You have no idea of the light that I saw in each of you. It was truly a miracle for me to sit there and watch you. I could have just stared at you for hours in amazement. You`re all just so beautiful. It`s breathtaking and indescribable. Just perfection. And I`ve never felt so happy. Some say that they get all lame and trunky when they speak with their family, but I got WAY WAY WAY more motivated to work hard so that you all can deserve the blessings. IT was awesome. I`m just so so so happy happy happy!!!!Interesting story. As you all are fully aware, I`m a bit of a perfectionist. Just a bit... right? Right. Welpt, before speaking with you, and even now sometimes, I was really struggling because I felt like I just wasn`t progressing as a missionary. The lessons weren`t up to the level of power that I needed them to be, my thoughts weren`t focused entirely on Christ, and there were no investigators. We walk around in the extreme heat all day. Maybe, I thought, I`m really just doing things wrong and should not even be a missionary. Of course, such thoughts, one realizes, can only come from the adversary, but when one is so confused as that, one begins to question if maybe really it is true.
.......So... maybe the Lord did qualify me after all. Even the averagest of missionaries can be qualified by the Lord. And that`s really pretty cool.And miracle number 2.... I spoke with you. Every day I pray for you, that you can be strengthened and receive blessings. It was so very clear, that you have been blessed in every possible way, and that the work, even that of lowly me, brings very real blessings to families.Cool.It`s interesting to think about the goals for the new year, and think about how one of mine is return to my home with honor. Can you believe I`ll be going home this year? And so soon?! I can hardly believe it. Not gonna lie, i wouldn`t mind staying here forever... but that`s ok. Progression in real life is good stuff too.