Sunday, May 19, 2013

Good News!

So everybody, I've got some REALLY good news.  
Like so good.  
Like best day of my life kind of good.
On Thursday, I was cleared by my doctor.  CLEARED I TELL YA!  
It's time to get going now!

My doctor - Dr. Scott Primack (who obviously I recommend to all who have chronic pain) - has won the prize.  He is such a blessing for us.  He is right here, in Denver, and is one of the only doctors in the whole country who can do what he does (ultra-sound guided injections).  Coincidence?  Yeah right.

He says that, yes, there will be sore days, but I'll just have to push through and move on.  Sore days?  Bring it on.  I'm all about sore days if it gets me to Santiago.  He says there is NO REASON why this crazy neuroma should keep me out of that place... and so... I'm GOING!  Still not entirely sure when, but I'm just so happy.  I had to share.  Who knows, maybe my next post will be a letter from the Chile Santiago Norte Misión itself.
I've kept up my spanish.  I've kept up my studies.  I've kept up my desire.  I've tried to keep the flame instilled in me by the Spirit felt in the MTC, that flame that keeps me DYING to share the gospel with everyone I talk to.

It has truly been a fascinating experience for me.

Like how it feels to feel like a failure.
Like how people look at you differently because you couldn't "make it" (Ummm excuse me... I couldn't walk.  Thanks.).  

Or like how tons of people are terrified to talk to you because they think you'll just break down or rip their heads off (Ok... so that happened once... but I'm really a nice person!  Promise!).  

Or like how everyone expects you to be strong and get through it on your own, because you were strong before, but really you just need someone to ask if you're ok, because really, you're not.  

Or like how everyone desperately wants to feel loved.  

How everyone has their own "walking boot," but theirs just usually aren't as visible.  

And how we are put into the lives of specific people to relieve the pain covered up by that "boot" - the mask that they have put on to hide the agony underneath.  

How sometimes we allow our own personal pride and our own problems to overrun our lives, when we are probably going through those problems so that we can help someone else with their problems.  If we let down our pride for a moment, we might notice that some of those closest to us need us more than anything.

And Heaven knows I've been pretty much stripped of pride since being sent home (although, let's be honest, me saying that hardly makes it true, does it?).  But I'm grateful for it.  I'm grateful for the Lord who knew that I was too prideful to listen, and so He crushed me into the ground.  Over.  And Over.  And Over Again.  Until I finally began to listen.  And to realize how desperately I needed to change my life.

And so I'm working on it.  It's hard.  But everything's hard.  And every little thing counts.  That's what I figure at least.

And you know what the truth is?  The truth is that I didn't fail.  I haven't failed.  That even if I never got to go back, I wouldn't have failed.  Because I have a DESIRE to serve.  To love.  To inspire.  To inspire people to change their lives as I have been inspired to change.  To tell them that through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, 
they CAN change.  

1 comment:

  1. Hermana Thomas,

    You have no clue who I am... but I've been following your blog since you were in the MTC. My Daughter, Hermana Johnson was in another district that entered the same day as you and is in the Santiago North Mission. I'm been so incredible impressed with your fight to overcome and serve the Lord! Chronic pain is a horrible thing but I can tell you that my struggle with it has allowed me to truly feel what grace is and how the atonement applies to these physical pains and sufferings. You are learning this at a young age and will be a powerful missionary in the Lords hands... well, you actually are already. This extra time has prepared you to serve the people with more love and understanding. I also served a mission and can tell you that the Sisters who had been through extra trials to get to the field carried a fire in them that was unquenchable! I also have a testimony that even though there will still be bad days... the Lord will give you strength to accomplish HIS work... if you are willing! I tore my ACL on my mission and ended up having surgery in the field. I made the best of it and taught my PT guy and surgeon... and then the PT decided to take his entire Lutheran congregation to the Hill Cumorah pageant! You have great things ahead of you!

    You are going to be SO loved by Pres. Essig and Sis. Essig is about as sweet as they come.

    I'm SO excited for you and praying for your quick return to the field!

    PS... last transfers/changes in the mission were the Monday before Mother's day. Alex flew to the field on March 25th... so that was 6 weeks into her 1st area. I would guess that the next changes will be on June 17th.